Here we go again, one of my usual sleepless nights. Another ...
budgets these days are here. Lonely days, not just the good old days, if we're honest!
were months that I felt like I feel right now ... It's not that I have found the solution to my problems, the remedy to my regret ... It's just that for the first time, just months after I tried to look him in the face evil that is sending me away to the head, the pain I feel inside ... I do not want to admit, but since my father got worse, I'm gone completely KO! I've got not understand anything, damn it! I made mistakes and errors, I've done is combine crap: I've only made things worse, really! The potergli not stay near made me mad, as well as make me go into a rage! So I preferred to bury their heads in the sand and pretend nothing has happened ... And when I could not help me with some more glass! Just to Stone ...
(Panu Good move - I have to admit that you got great results this way!)
And now what I complain? I have that around me, I did scorched earth. It is I who have wanted me! And, unfortunately, is not crying over spilled milk I is very helpful ... It's really bad
stop believing in yourself ... When it happens it is difficult to get out ... You feel lonely and you think no one understands you, even if, in fact, is that you do not understand the other; exit out of yourself and start living life as a spectator, passively ... You do not live according to reason, but according to instinct. Maybe that's why, at certain times, you seem more like an animal than a man, you stop having feelings and you feel empty
that bad feeling ... It really is not just that you stop having feelings It is only that locks them somewhere. The pain is so strong that would do anything not to hear more! Even at the cost to lock the joy ... As well as love or passion ... These things you only look in the other, so, just to feel a bit 'more alive!
budgets these days are here. Lonely days, not just the good old days, if we're honest!
were months that I felt like I feel right now ... It's not that I have found the solution to my problems, the remedy to my regret ... It's just that for the first time, just months after I tried to look him in the face evil that is sending me away to the head, the pain I feel inside ... I do not want to admit, but since my father got worse, I'm gone completely KO! I've got not understand anything, damn it! I made mistakes and errors, I've done is combine crap: I've only made things worse, really! The potergli not stay near made me mad, as well as make me go into a rage! So I preferred to bury their heads in the sand and pretend nothing has happened ... And when I could not help me with some more glass! Just to Stone ...
(Panu Good move - I have to admit that you got great results this way!)
And now what I complain? I have that around me, I did scorched earth. It is I who have wanted me! And, unfortunately, is not crying over spilled milk I is very helpful ... It's really bad
stop believing in yourself ... When it happens it is difficult to get out ... You feel lonely and you think no one understands you, even if, in fact, is that you do not understand the other; exit out of yourself and start living life as a spectator, passively ... You do not live according to reason, but according to instinct. Maybe that's why, at certain times, you seem more like an animal than a man, you stop having feelings and you feel empty
that bad feeling ... It really is not just that you stop having feelings It is only that locks them somewhere. The pain is so strong that would do anything not to hear more! Even at the cost to lock the joy ... As well as love or passion ... These things you only look in the other, so, just to feel a bit 'more alive!
(What a wanker ...)
I think I gained consciousness in the last few hours, certainly not the solution to my problems, but it eases the pain I carry inside! I decided to accept everything that happened in these years, everything! I understand that I can not help it, I can not pay for the sins that I have not, they are tired of looking for an excuse, something to make me feel better, simply because there is no explanation: things were going well and that's it!
I must think of me now: it's my time! The next five years will be the most important of my life, I do not want to miss the appointment, I have to be ready!
I do not want me to rub some things never more, never again!
It bothers me only to have understood so late ...
But now I go to sleep the clock strikes 3:20 - tomorrow is another day, see what happens.
