h: 21.50 .... ready to get out ... x smoke a cigarette and I think ... I think so many things that the brain seems to break out day today .... a little low in tone, I was all day at home ... well all afternoon, to tell the truth, I slept until 20.00, after the rude awakening at 8:00 am I need a rest .... Packed Nothing too but my energy has overwhelmed me, the laxative effect of last night they did (at least that's fine tonight ....) carrots seasoned with balsamic vinegar .... well hopefully tomorrow ....! x I think of him and I feel less alone, he loves me so much .... and I? I can not seem to love myself even x 10% compared to what he loves me .... how strange .... yet it is così___la my head is a jumble of thoughts, calculations and various bullshit that if one day I get tired the next day is all that I need to go on x one more day ....! I think about her ... that she is gone, who had the courage to make such a gesture extreme as to leave no way out, and I feel so lucky just xchè I never thought .... I miss everything about her, his eyes, his voice, go back to old friends makes me anxious because I know she will be there .... was a blow to overcome, if only to understand .... I wonder how much suffering was brought in and who knows how long x without saying anything to anyone ... I remember every word that made any discussion now ... I was left with only his memories ....! I miss CaZzO___ma how can life be so unfair ....!!!!!
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